A Quick Question
From: Buddha <lotusluvr23@yahoo.ca>
To: Jesus Christ <water_walker@god.co.il>
Subject: Hey! Quick Question…
Hey Jesus,
Hope all is well. Where you at these days? It’s been ages.
Anyway, just wanted to pick your brain about a few things… I’ve got a bit of a weird follower situation happening. You around for coffee?
BTW, ever get that PDF I sent you? I think we should work it up. Pilot season is around the corner…
Best,
Buddha
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“All we are is just another brick in the Wall” – Pink Floyd
From: Jesus Christ <water_walker@god.co.il>
To: Buddha <lotusluvr23@yahoo.ca>
Subject: Re: Hey! Quick Question…
MY MAN!
GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU!
OMU CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S BEEN SO LONG!
sorry, caps lock! What a tard. So what’s up? Lemme know, I’m around but a bit hectic.
Christ
p.s. have you seen lady punch?
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From: Buddha <lotusluvr23@yahoo.ca>
To: Jesus Christ <water_walker@god.co.il>
Subject: Carrie had THC in her system!! LMAO
Yeah, Lady Punch is great. Good to hear that you’re busy… what’s your weekend like?
If you didn’t like the pitch it’s not a big deal.
Lemme know,
Buddha
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“All we are is just another brick in the Wall” – Pink Floyd
From: Jesus Christ <water_walker@god.co.il>
To: Buddha <lotusluvr23@yahoo.ca>
Subject: Re: Carrie had THC in her system!! LMAO
yeah busy busy busy. I’m sponsoring a brief lull in Iraq, then doing some freelance thing for the Caucuses. And then actually I’m doing another “remain silent on atrocities” cleanse that starts on Tuesday and is supposed to last like 3,000 years… It’s awesome you should try it. It’s like the lemonade cayenne pepper one but on STEROIDS!
Can you ping me about your problem on email or is it a face-to-face thing only?
JC
Loved the pitch. “Fat Boy & The Stick” is awesome. Do you think for sure we should be solving crimes though? I was thinking more of an ER thing. I heard CBS is looking for a medical procedural…
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From: Buddha <lotusluvr23@yahoo.ca>
To: Jesus Christ <water_walkr@god.co.il>
Subject: Re: Re:Carrie had THC in her system!! LMAO
No, totally not a big deal. Understand completely. What’s the Caucuses thing? Love to help out if you need/want. Haha, I totally tried that cleanse once…lost fifteen pounds and that chick from the Holiday Inn Express in Daytona kept thinking I was Vishnu. Hilarious!
So yeah, anyway, I wanted to know how you deal with the whole “followers constantly trying to/succeeding in killing you” thing… Not a biggie. Just curious. Some yahoo has been posting the old “if you see the Buddha kill the Buddha” Zen thing all over Omaha and I have a conference I’m attending there…Worried I might catch a knife in the belly.
I’ve attached a rework on the pitch. I think “Dr. Round & The Miracle Man” might just work. Do you still have an agent?
Buddha.
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“All we are is just another brick in the Wall” – Pink Floyd
From: Jesus Christ <water_walker@god.co.il>
To: Buddha <lotusluvr23@yahoo.ca>
Subject: RE: re: Re: Carrie had THC in her system!! LMAO
Oh man, murderous followers??? Turn the other cheek man.
No just kidding! 
I have this guy out of West Hartford that does security and whatnot for my appearances. He’s almost always booked but I can send you his beeper number if you want.
He’s been like a guardian angel LOL, but seriously he also got me out of a bunch of weird Alaska appearances during the mid-term elections and even scored me sick super bowl tix.
But yeah, deicidal maniacs are a bitch. Speaking of which, Deicidal Maniacs is also my cousin Keith’s NuMetal band. They’re playing in Providence, RI this Wednesday at 8pm if you’re around. THEY ROCK!!!
I don’t know man… can you do the whole reincarnation thing? Or at least rise from the dead?
I’ll fax my agent the pitch, but to be honest that lazy bitch is probably in Malibu for the weekend. HAHA!
Hit me back about Wednesday, I’ll get you on the list.
Jesus.
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From: Buddha <lotusluvr23@yahoo.ca>
To: Jesus Christ <water_walkr@god.co.il>
Subject: Decidal Maniacs… Didn’t they record “Peace Train”? haha!
Awesome, send me that beeper number. I’d do the reincarnation thing, but I’m liking my current terrestial host, he’s got a great DVD collection and this wild vibrating office chair thing. You should check one out… Anyway, I’ll try to make it to the show. Can you get me a +1?
Thanks for the help. When you’re in town lets really see if we can get a few hours of work in on this script idea. I really think it’s worth it.
Oh and lemme know about the Caucuses! How’d you even get that gig???
Buddha.
P.S. sorry about calling you the new kid at the meeting in March.
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“We need to talk about those TPS reports” – Office Space