Paragon/Universe Entertainment Division Proud to Announce Upcoming Fall Releases!

SHERMAN OAKS, CA July 27 — Paragon/Universe Entertainment Division (Nasdaq: PUD) announced its upcoming release schedule today to a large crowd of shoppers at Valley Paradiso Food Court and Fabric Village near the Wendy’s on Sepulveda Blvd.

“We’re thrilled to be partnering up with @CleanGirlFUN23 and Dreamworks/SKG for the release of our exciting slate of films for the 2010-2011 holiday season!” shouted Daniel Kepp, CEO of Paragon, over the deafening murmur of mid-week bargain shoppers.”

“The internet has changed the face of entertainment.  For the first time ever our prime demographic is spending more time on websites than it is in front of the television.  Sites like pornucopia.com and hespunk-shespunk.net have rendered HBO’s ‘Realsex’ and Cinemax’s late night programming irrelevant.  While poor trending from last spring’s ‘Couldn’t Be Loved’ have shown that even the romantic-comedy demo is hemorrhaging money.”

“In fact, the only movies that performed well for Paragon/Universe this quarter were ‘Bag Face II: Slasher Puzzle’ and ‘Universe Kill’ which posted huge numbers in the sub-demo of boys 14-18 without older brothers.  Congratulations to our Paragon/Universe Hate Division, you guys deserve all the best.”

“It has become evident that the future is social media!” Mr. Kepp proclaimed, adding “and low-grade horror flicks starring refugees from SkineMax!”  There was a brief round of applause from the group of men seated at the ‘Puffy Dog’ (home of the 64oz Puff Master Puff Dog) and then the lights from aisles 7, 8, & 10 went dim and a spotlight appeared on Mr. Kepp.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado, I am pleased to announce our upcoming schedule made up entirely of the fertile area that lies between these two exciting brand-categories!”

What follows is a brief round up of Paragon/Universe’s upcoming movies:

HARMVILLE (87 minutes) – A young man charged with maintaining his family’s farm for a weekend receives a strange call from a long-lost friend searching for watermelon seeds and a lost cow.  What he finds is a terrorizing stalker that will relent at nothing in pursuit of making “the perfect little farm.”  Trent Craig (“Babes In Tittyland”) stars in this psychological thriller. Rated R for Adult Language and Violence

FOURSCARE (200 minutes) -  @Axmurdr223 is the mayor of your closet! When a young woman (Valery Buttons, star of “Sex Therapist Drama Theater”) spends a weekend alone in her house, she discovers that she’s not alone.  Keith Hernandez debuts as @Reaper666 who has just “unlocked” her front door.  Rated PG-13 for Questionable Intentions

CLASSHATE.COM: BACK FROM THE DEAD (90 minutes) – They’re coming…and they’re from your past.  When half of the class of ‘94 is discovered dead in Wayne, NJ no one thinks of foul play.  No one, that is, except detective Brink Lanceman.  Now Brink must fend off the last of the living dead that stalk suburban NJ.  Lacy Angles (“Dream Sensuality 2010”) co-stars as Lt. Stanette Powers, the foxy top-cop who is immune to “them-that-can’t-let-go.” Rated R for Desperate Sex, Adult Language, and Brief Nudity

FACEBOOK! (120 Minutes) – Experience the terror of spending time with middle-school bullies, pregnant ex-girlfriends, and co-workers you have barely shared a word with.  Now available in 24/7ULTRAVISION and earth-shattering REALIFE™. This Film Not Yet Rated